The other day my beautiful 15 year old daughter asked me for some general advice on life. Luckily I was prepared for this moment – for years I had been writing down thoughts that occurred to me to tell her. This is the compilation:
Cooking something savory and want to add some veggies: Carrot, Celery and Onion.
Beware anyone who asks questions where you can’t answer “no”.
Have enough water. Have enough fun. Have enough sleep.
Beware people bearing surprise gifts that aren’t beautiful or useful.
If a boy/girl doesn’t call, forget it. You can find someone who will.
Ditch the levelers. They put you down to feel better. They suck.
Don’t worry about being the best. It’s really really really unlikely. Just do your thing. The world still benefits!
Marry someone who makes you smile. That’s a recipe for a good life.
Don’t panic if your life partner shits you sometimes. That’s normal. Marriage is about averages – if on the whole your life is better for them being there, that’s good!
When you are procrastinating, maybe the job is too big. Find a tiny bit of the job and do that.
95% of beauty is carriage. Stand tall and move with pride.
You cannot trust one word from an addict’s mouth. Ignore this at your peril.
Don’t give away YES’s easy. Agree to do stuff you are happy to.
Dragging out the boring stuff is crap. Chores – get in, do them just well enough, get out.
Credit is the party, debt is the hangover. And baby, this hangover can go on for DECADES. Be smart. NO CASH, NO BUY.
Stuff doesn’t make you happy. Ads manipulate you to buy stuff you don’t want.
High Status doesn’t make you happy, just lonely and unsatisfied
If you have a book in you, FOR GOD’S SAKE WRITE IT.
Don’t let the washing up get away from you. Sufficient unto the day is the washing up there in.
You probably can’t change other people.
A boy/girl who is wild and exciting will break your heart. But you’ll have a fun time first.
If you want to have sex with someone, go for it. Use a condom and have some fun. Also if you don’t want to do, then don’t. (Women fought so hard for the right for no to mean no under any circumstances. It’s your right.)
Psychologists have discovered kindness is the secret to happiness.
If you find a boy/girl who will do anything for you, don’t become high maintenance just because they’ll take it. Shameful behavior.
Remember to fuck shit up a little bit. Sometimes it’s important to stick it to the man just because rebellion keeps you young – it’s the sauce of life though – keep it in balance.
Don’t argue with the police. Be polite and don’t give them any more info than they ask for. (In fact same goes for anyone with a gun!)
Women can lose valuable life energy feeling that they are not attractive enough. No one will judge your looks as harshly as you do. Most people wont care what you look like and people who love you will think you have the most wonderful face on the planet.
Social elegance means making other people feel comfortable and welcome. It’s not about fancy place settings on tables. Real grace never goes out of style.
Some people who just don’t get it, are doing the best they can. They aren’t trying to be annoying – that’s just the way they are
Most stuff that happens has nothing to do with you. It just feels like it does. Even the way people treat you generally has very little to do with you.
Your gut knows. Gut instinct is a safety device.
Do your thing – follow your calling. In the end people can spend a lot of time worrying about whether or not they can earn money following their calling. Just do your thing. Pay the bills. If they coincide great. If they remain separate – that’s OK!
Sleep is essential to health. Anyone who tries to convince you that you don’t need to sleep is wrong. And you must wonder why they are spinning shit at you.
You will lose friends if you flirt with their boyfriends/husbands/lovers. Learn how to treat these people appropriately. You can absolutely control the signals you give out.
Buy good shoes. If your feet hurt you are stuck.
There are some people who are very successful in life – not through talent but through wheeling and dealing. It’s a good idea to keep your distance from these people, because they will use you to get ahead, in whatever way they need. On the other hand every now and then you need to be a little bit strategic yourself. People who believe all you need to do is be good, work hard and follow the rules and the universe will notice, care and reward them often end up burnt out and bitter. So you can learn something from observing these folks from a safe distance!
The grass is greener where you water it. If you neglect something it can be crap. It’s amazing what five minutes a day for a week can do for a neglected thing!
Not all drugs are the same and not all people are the same. Some drugs are much more addictive than others. And some people are more likely to become addicted than others. Alcohol, tobacco, heroin and ice are addictive. Stay away from speed. I’ve met too many speed freaks in my life – and they are screwy. Be careful with alcohol because it’s legal and most people drink, you can slide into an addiction without realizing.
When you’ve given too much to other people you are spent. The solution is simple. Be selfish for a while.
Be careful of dodgy seafood.
When you start at a new job or organisation of some sort, just sit back and get the vibe for a few months. Don’t go too berserk.
Work places don’t offer love. They take whatever you give, and give you a paycheck. Make sure you don’t give too much to work.
Your children’s grandparents are there to help. They took that job on when they had you. Never be ashamed to ask them for help.
Take cuppas seriously. Tea bags and instant coffee are an insult to civility. If you can’t make time for a proper cuppa then life is wrong and you need to fix it.
When you want something from other people the more you use humor the better negotiations will go.
As far as I can make out current post modernism is comprehensively stupid. But I suspect Foucault had some really good things to say.
Don’t Fuck with Centrelink. They put people in jail.
Remember how wealthy you are. Be grateful for the great work of generations and generations of humanity that have brought us to this place. safe drinking water on tap. Free health care. Suffrage. decent state provided primary secondary and tertiary education. The Internet!!! Electricity. Equal pay. Medicine. No one shooting at us. Shops brimming with beautiful, healthy food. Libraries. Civil liberties. Ladders. washing machines. pegs. clothes hangers. Bricks. toilets. Immunization. Language, poetry, literature. music music music. Bridges – we’d notice if they weren’t there!
Your dad is a really good man, and he’ll always look out for you.